The Walworth Farce by Enda Walsh

The most interesting parts of the production, for me, were the lengthy introduction by the director (who later read the stage directions) and Isaac Lamb playing his 6 roles (inc. 3 female ones). Character changes were indicated by voice changes and (primarily) the donning of hats, female wigs represented by the donning of differently colored reusable shopping bags.

The play is called a "farce." I must therefore have a misunderstanding of "farce," my only other experience with it being tied to the Benny Hill type ridiculously exaggerated plays of Moliere. This was not at all like that for me, despite the campy & unauthentic female representations: perhaps only because I took the subject matter so seriously.

After 2 of the 3 others in my theater attending social group left during intermission, the third being an old hand at theater (who will tell you the exact number of plays she attended last year, because she counts, and it's well over 100) who wouldn't mind being there alone, I decided to skip out, too.

The director said it would be a very confusing production, so make certain you hold out your program during the play. While it's true I relied heavily on the character diagram, it didn't seem to me to be at all a confusing situation.

Remember that I left at half time ("the plot will all become clear in the end," the director said, which I missed) and thus may have got it all wrong. Yet & still, here's how it seemed to me:

The father, having isolated & brainwashed his children away from the broader world (Blake's grabbing the knife, terrified of Dinny's contact with the outside world, particularly when it knocked on his door), in effect created his own little family cult.

His children were locked into a lifelong battle of attempting to satisfy his obsessive whims, dramatically re-enacting (an amateur's go at psychodrama) stories from his past (or his imagination, but most likely a combination of them both). But relief was never to be found: the father's twisted mind would turn & bend, lashing out at the children for not intuiting each new desired script change, all in a circle of repetition that would probably end only with the father's death or their implausible desperate, lonely, resource-less escape.

Is this not the basic plot of every cult? Is this not, albeit at far greater intensity, the story of numerous people in my past, both "partner" and parent?

I wasn't triggered by the play nor was I confused; I left because reliving the vicarious version of that story -- with no apparent guarantees of a "happy ending" -- simply didn't appeal.

It's too bad, really, because this reading was free, and in a month Third Rail will present another (The New Electric Ballroom), all in preparation for their fully staged presentation of Penelope (which I'd already decided to skip). Oh well. That's how it is with theater: you never know what you'll get.

Young Person's Guide by PGMC

PGMC shows, in my opinion, always offer a good time. There are heart-wrenching songs, uplifting songs, funny songs, thought provoking songs, impressive full-chorus songs, impressive small group songs, and 1 or 2 that just are.

Generally speaking, anytime they do a stint with someone in drag or have the whole chorus demonstrate synchronized hand gestures (there was lots of that today), I am thrilled.

My favorite this time was actually a musical joke. Called Lambscapes, they performed 5 versions of the childhood song "Mary Had A Little Lamb" in the form of a Gregorian Chant, Handel, Schubert, Verdi and Orff. It was HILARIOUS.

I hadn't really given much thought before about PGMC's strong social equality message before, but it is undeniably an important mainstay of their mission. I especially like that, you can just tell, they don't intend it to be "just for gays," but rather for all people. I like that: the democracy of it rings true, right, and spiritually sound to me.

This performance consisted of alternating segments: the chorus singing and a video story of a fictitious high school gay/straight alliance. In that storyline, it happens that a gay boy gets a crush on a homophobic straight boy. The straight boy complains that the gay boy is always staring at him. His friend, a straight girl with gay parents, says, "Well, you've had a crush on me since kindergarten, and look how far that's gone."

I wanted to stand up an applaud. What a sane, rational, practical way of addressing the topic. Yes, people get crushes, but (unless s/he's a stalker) it doesn't mean anything about you, it isn't a threat, it's just something that happens in the real world, and as we mature we learn how to live with it: both sides of it.

Based especially on these last two things, I decided to make PGMC the organization for my March 2012 Charity of the Month.

Blind Date & The Actor, by Horton Foote

Horton Foote explores ambition, love and family in these two hilarious but touching. funny and moving short comedies. How do we meet the expectations of the ones we love and stay true to ourselves. “Foote writes with intelligence, sensitivity, humor, and compassion.” – New York Magazine. Mar 18-19, reading, Profile Theater, 3430 SE Belmont, suggg. don. $10.


Blind Date didn't do it for me, but I really enjoyed The Actor.

thrift store finds & what happened next

I'd been interested in learning more about geography -- one of my weakest subjects -- for a while, and was disgusted after having purchased a laminated, cartoon-ized version of a world map on which Hawaii was missing. (I later learned that it, and other "Pacific Rim" elements, were in a small inset on the reverse side of the map, under lots of boring text.)

I internet searched for globes, remembering the ugly ones from elementary school. It turns out that globes are an expensive affair, starting at $40 for the tiny ones which would require a microscope to read (or even smaller which barely name the continents).

So when I just happened across this monster-big (25" wide, 33" tall) globe, which was huge enough to list lots of little cities (and the islands of Hawaii, as well) I decided it was worth the floor space. I was also impressed that it turns & spins in multiple directions, so that I can look at any part I want without craning & tilting myself unreasonably. I'm glad I got it, and it even turns out to be (according to my Australian friend who knows when different countries changed their names) in the less-than-10-years-old range. It has only one imperfection (shown).

The price? $35. Score!

I was going to buy more shiny sealant to spray on wooden game pieces I'd re-painted bitchin' metal colors. The hobby store has an ice cream store on the right and a thrift store on the left. After buying the spray paint, I went left.

Wow! I was ecstatic to see a lawyer's bookcase, in great condition, in a medium golden shade of oak. A quick look on the back showed it was (not solid wood but) high quality, long lasting furniture.

I've always wanted a lawyer's bookcase and even though I couldn't think of exactly where to put it or what to do with it, I knew I would find something good and always be glad I had it. It was not only awesome for its own sake, but would match my pre-existing oak bookcases as well.

Price? $185, which I'm certain is 1/2, 1/3 or 1/4 of what a new one would cost today. The owners even delivered it for free. Score, again!


It was one of those rare, sunny days in March. The sun still low on the horizon, the trees not yet in leaf, and my office (which is the sunniest room in the house) was so bright that even lowering all 4 blinds (one of which is a "blackout blind") wasn't enough. To bear the overwhelming (to my sensitive eyes) level of light I had to wear either sports cap or sun glasses. It doesn't happen often, but it happens every year and let me tell you, it gets old really fast.

Probably urged on, in part, by the recent purchase of the lawyer's bookcase, as well as recent explorations into the world of home remodeling, I was suddenly struck with a strong desire to move my office from off-the-living-room to a formerly unused room with lots of wall space and a year-round absence of bright light.

The plan comes with some limitations. Between social planning, emails, shopping, research, business and blogging, I spend a LOT of time in my office (and I can remember when I couldn't imagine why anyone would want, much less need, a computer at home!). I would no longer be able to look out the prettiest windows, see people approaching the house, watch the squirrels climb down the trees, meet deliveries at the porch. On the other hand, I'd have lots of private wall space on which I could post business & financial details without being seen from the street or living room, it's off a hallway so a simple closed door (wouldn't prevent break ins but) clearly notifies guests it's off limits for their purposes, and I could pretty-up the room adjoining my public space, including a lot of plants in the spacious, sunny area of the house.

The clincher was when I remembered the lawyer's bookcase. You see, I have several big plastic tubs of family paperwork in the basement which is great to grab-and-dash in an emergency, but a real pain-in-the-patooty when it comes to fishing out needed information (which I did 4 times this last 2 months). If I put that stuff (already sorted into big plastic envelopes) in the lawyer's bookcase, it'd be easy to access, and that'd be one less barrier to approaching the already-emotionally-loaded files when the need arose. Good gawd, what a relief that would be.

Deal!

I spent about 4 hours transporting, sorting, and thinning the material (because I only did the most egregiously necessary stuff for organization) and it turned out even better than I had hoped: it all fits, ALL of it, and I even have room for several more years to come!

Meanwhile, I'm quite energized about the topic of the office. It takes me a while to work out a system with many variables because I'm detail oriented and I like to get things JUST RIGHT, when I can. Sorting through dry erase options provided a surprisingly efficient (and cheap) solution reasonably fast. Considering desks is taking the longest time, but I have narrowed it down to (1) an L shape desk (even if it's less of an "Arts & Crafts" style) that (2) will be able to be assembled inside a room with a 29" (27.5" if the door stays on) frame (difficult since many desks come pre-assembled).

Obviously, I'll post more details as developments occur.

brave mom

February's Charity of the Month allotment is going to a hero: an ordinary person in extraordinary circumstances who stepped up to the plate of necessity.

I guess, after wrangling with the idea for a few weeks, having encountered magnificent possibilities but then being disappointed with this twist, I've decided that I won't let a lack of 501(c)3 status stop me from selecting something as my Charity of the Month. It seems... more in line with the concept of charity to not require a tax write-off in the process. (Frankly, due to the AMT tax, I don't know if my cash contributions even count in the end, anyway).

As the sky glowered black and Stephanie Decker felt the monster tornado begin to suck her house into its vortex, she knew it would not hold and she had no choice but to shield her two young kids with her own body. She lost her legs in the process.

"I knew my leg was barely attached or it was severed. I didn't know which but I knew it was bad. If I didn't get help soon, I was going to bleed out," Decker told ABC News, which interviewed her Monday night from her hospital bed in Louisville, Ky.

Decker, 37, and her family were smack dab in the middle of a tornado outbreak Friday that included 140 reported twisters, 76 confirmed landings and 39 deaths.

"It was nothing I expected," the Henryville, Ind., woman said. "I never, ever thought in a million years my house would be blown away."

She was determined to keep her kids safe, and her actions saved them, but at a steep cost. Not only was her home lost, but both of her legs had to be amputated late Friday -- one just below the knee, the other just above it.

"I assumed I was safe and I heard the roar like a train, and I heard it behind me, and I knew it was coming," she recalled today. "And it was so loud that I knew that I needed to do something different. I knew staying put wasn't going to work."

So Decker acted. She dashed down into her home's basement with son Dominic, 8, and daughter Reese, 5. As the house began to disintegrate she tried to shield them with a comforter.

"My daughter said, 'Mommy, I don't like this,' and I said, 'I know honey,'" Decker said. "I could see the wind. I could see the window blew out and the house burst."

She was crushed under the cascade of debris.

"I remember the whole thing," she said. "I stayed conscious the whole time. I couldn't afford [to pass out]. They needed me. They had to have me, so I had to figure out what to do. And my son is a hero. He went to get help."

Both her legs were smashed. She'd also suffered a punctured lung.

Her children, however, were unscathed.

Next, it was her son's turn for heroism. He knew his mother was hurt and he crawled out from under his mother and dashed over to a neighbor's house.

"After ... Dominic left," she said, "I realized I couldn't get out because I actually used the comforter I tied with them as a tourniquet. I knew I was cut."

Help soon came. Decker was evacuated to the hospital.

Overnight, her husband, Joe Decker, tearfully said that the flattened house on Henryville Road had been their dream house.

Stephanie Decker had told her husband she always wanted to have the children's handprints imprinted in the foundation's cement, because "we were never gonna leave here."

And there they are today. Small prints, with the "Reese," and "D" for Dominic scrawled in the concrete, an indelible testimony to a family still intact.

In the wake of her injuries, a benefit fund has been set up for

Stephanie Decker at Fifth Third Bank, 392 S Indiana Ave, Sellersburg, IN, 47172.

--ABC News

Mozart: His Life & Music

I just completed my first audio course of Great Masters, and I am thrilled to report that I LOVED IT!

The best part, really, is Robert Greenberg (the lecturer). While obviously an expert on the topic, his greatest appeal is the skill he wields at irreverent storytelling. It simply hadn't occurred to me that I would laugh out loud -- and heartily, too -- during every disc of an 8 part series on Mozart.

I listened in the car. I noticed myself perk up inside each time I remembered that I'd listen to his course during the transit, although it didn't lend well to copying out his best quotes. As is my ilk, I repeated each disc before moving to the next.

"They were reduced to slobbering idiots in their attempt to explain his extraordinary talent."

"... like fleas on a feral dog."

"Leopold laid a guilt trip on Wolfgang worthy of a psychiatric professional."

"Yet another sacrifice made on the alter of filial obedience."

"It was as if Darth Vader had elected Captain Kangaroo his co-ruler."

"Are these the actions of 'an idiot savant,' a 'consummate child'? No!"

"Knowing what we know now about Mozart, anyone who thinks he is autistic please raise your hand."

"A real charmer, hunh?"

"A 'pretty mouth' in those days probably meant that she simply had most of her teeth!"

I purchased the 10 course set, so it's 1 down and 9 to go. Yay for me!

A NOTE ABOUT THE GREAT COURSES/ TEACHING COMPANY: Every course goes on sale at least once a year, some several times a year. Prices fluctuate wildly and catalogs tend to come out in spurts (each with different sales). The only way to discern when something is/not at "the right price" is to divide the number of discs by the number of dollars, providing a price per disc. For DVDs, $2.5 is average and $1.68 is the best I've seen. New releases can take a few years to discount satisfactorily and CDs generally cost less. S&H, however, I've yet to wrangle, but I do notice that it's high.

My experience is that their courses are awesome and teachers knowledgeable & enthusiastic, but it can be difficult to be realistic and buy just a few at one time (aka it's a hoarding risk). Do ponder whether each is truly a topic you will partake of soon, and if you want to pay extra for DVD to watch at home or if you can save with CD which is so easy to use outside the house.

Most libraries now have search options available on the internet and Portland's public library has many of their materials in stock.

tour: Maintaining Marine Highways (dredging Columbia River)

After attending the HOW DOES THE RIVER WORK? tour by the Dill Pickle Club last autumn (for which I still haven't made a blog post: I took a cumbersome overage of photos & notes), I got on Port of Portland's email list for behind-the-scenes lectures & tours. I dropped a regularly standing appointment with my personal trainer in exchange for doing this (later learning that it filled up within 4 hours of announcement and carried a waiting list 50 people deep).

CAVEAT: Assume a degree of error.

Maintaining Marine Highways

Take a visit back to the roots of the Port of Portland with a tour on the Dredge Oregon. Originally created in 1891 to maintain the navigation channel from the mouth of the Columbia River to Portland, the Port of Portland has since expanded to airports, marine terminals and industrial lands. Learn how the Dredge Oregon works with the Corps of Engineers to maintain the river highway for ships carrying grain, containers, autos and more. Location: Port of Portland Navigation Office.

The tour consisted of 4 parts: (1) the introduction, which included two 3 minute videos about dredging, a Powerpoint presentation, and comments from the Navigation Manager & an Engineer, (2) standing outside in the windy, rainy cold looking at the pipes (their parts & repair), (3) the navigation & piloting rooms of the ship itself, and (4) its engine room.

These are the floating pipes that carry sand, via water slurry, from ship to land. Shiny, silver color in rounded edges is from nickel.

It seemed to me that there are 2 ways of dredging, based on where the sand will be relocated. If it'll be sent to another spot on the river, the ship vacuums sand & water up from the bottom of the river onto the ship. The water spills out, leaving only sand. The ship sails to a new location, hydraulically splits in half, then drops the sand below. (Based on its shape, I don't think the dredge OREGON does that.)Above is the arm that drops to river bottom, below is "cutter" that attaches to it, cutting sand to be vacuumed up.

If the material will be send ashore (for example to fill in swamp or extend out [aka "nourish"] a beach), after the sand & river water are transported on to the ship, it then gets sent (via an 80% water, 20% sand mixture of slurry) through floating pipes of up to 8,000 feet in length.

While the dredge does lift boulders, tires & other debris from the river bottom, few fish get caught in its grip. Not only does the noise warn & scare them away, but dredging also occurs in the middle of the river, where the strong currents dis-incline fish habitation.Back in 1891, when the Port of Portland was originally established, its sole purpose was to establish & maintain the river as a safe business channel. They started by dredging the Columbia to a depth of 18', but since then (ships have vastly increased in size & weight of cargo carried) it has escalated to 25', 40' and now 43' (there are no plans to go deeper, even with the Panama Canal widening... we don't have the regional population to attract 14,000 container-carrying ships anyways).

The dredging workload "is never done," although the immediate need increases & decreases with the weather (heavy snow & rain increase "shoaling" = the making of little hills at river's bottom) and the amount of work done is related to funding (in tight years governments tend to postpone where they can). That said, the standard "season" for dredging is June through October or November. Work is done 5, 6 or 7 days a week, 24 hours a day (in three 8 hour shifts) by union workers (most of whom are hired & laid off seasonally, but the lowest starting wage is $33/hr). In the off season a skeleton crew does maintenance.

The dredge OREGON is the Port of Portland's tool for this. Built in the 1940s, it was converted to a dredge 20 years later. It has been with us in Portland since 1965. They're expensive, too: the dredge OREGON will receive massive upgrades over the next 2 winters (leading to reduced emissions, fuel economy, improved navigation devices, etc) at a cost of $18mil ($12mil of which will be paid with local money).

Our tour contact, and the interface for this dredging is the Port of Portland, but really they're just the sub-contractor. The real boss when it comes to maintenance of the Columbia river (that is, choosing what/ when/ how things will be done, and then footing the bill afterwords) is the Army Corps of Engineers. This long term relationship (they communicate on almost an hourly basis) is unique to Portland, Oregon: no other area does it like this.

The Port of Portland is so efficient & cost effective that if the Army Corps of Engineers were to sub-contract any other entity to do the dredging work, the replacement company would only be able to do 1/3 the work for the same total price. Therefore, were the PoP to go away, the ACoE would likely look to other types of solutions.

Factoids: Since its inception, the Port of Portland has dredged enough material out of the bottom of the Columbia River to pave an 8' road around the world. The dredge OREGON utilizes $15 - 20,000 of paint a year.

This tour is about dredging on the Columbia (the river that separates Oregon & Washington): potential dredging on the Willamette (which separates West & East sides of Portland) wasn't discussed.

euro games

I've been to 10 gaming socials this year. Unfortunately, their rotation is such that it lends to imbalance. Meaning, I'd like to attend 2 a week, but the swing of when they're scheduled, which ones I like best/ am closest to, and when I can attend lends to a variation from 0 - 3. Thus, once again, life fails to conform to my preference for doing it "perfectly."

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Settlers of Catan I've known before, but not the 5-6 player expansion. It plays differently than the regular 2-4 player version, because one can build after any other player's turn. That gives it a faster pace, allows one to spend resources more quickly (thus reducing risk from The Robber), and generates the possibility of a sudden win from anyone at the table, even when it's not their turn.

Settlers is a game even newcomers have often heard of and I decided to buy the 5-6 player expansion myself.

===============

Because each player had a little rubber mining vehicle, which looked & felt like a child's eraser, and the idea is to play with dirt & rocks, the game had a 10-year-old-boy feel for me. That said, it wasn't a bad game, simply not (for me) a great one.

Each player's control panel has limited storage space for materials mined (brightly colored wooden markers driven over with machine), & upgrades. One chooses where to spend one's resources: the one with the most victory points wins.

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Travel back in time to the French Revolution. There is a line 12 people (cards) deep, headed for the guillotine. Manipulate the order of the line to behead the bad guys for points, and avoid decapitating the good guys (with negative points).

Three rounds = 1 game = maybe 30 minutes. Graphics are amusing. The difficulty level would be suitable for children or drunk people.

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Carcassonne is a very popular game, and I had heard of it many times before I finally played. I think part of why I postponed being in a Carcassonne group is that the name starts with the word "carcass" and the idea of picking the meat off the bones of dead animals sounds... not so fun (even though I am an omnivore).

Pleasantly, the game play is nothing like that. One picks tiles out of a bag and places them adjacent to other tiles on the table. Thus, one creates roads, fields & cities in different configurations every game. With wooden figures, and only when a tile is originally placed, one can claim one of those 3 entities. A marker circles a track to count points which are earned during & at conclusion of the game.

Play was easy although my comprehension is still sub-par. This game has a slew of versions, or one can buy the Big Box set which is the base game + 5 expansions all in, well, one impractically enormous box at a greatly reduced price.

Guardian games $75 or $60 w/ 20% disc; Amazon $47 inc S&H

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Puerto Rico is another game which seems to be a staple in your average gamer's hoard. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but I won my first game. Each player has a control panel which has 2 primary sections: the top wherein one installs factories, harbors, wharves, offices, ships, bonus victory point generators, extra resource generators, etc., and the bottom wherein one installs settlements of resources (corn, indigo, sugar, tobacco, coffee) or quarries (price discounters).

The game is played in rounds: the 1st person chooses an action tile, and then everyone in clockwise order gets to perform that action (with the tile-chooser often receiving a bonus for being the instigator). Then the 2nd person chooses an action tile from the remaining options, etc. After everyone has a go at it, the round completes, everyone returns their action tiles to the center, the "starts first" marker passes to the right, and s/he then becomes 1st in line (to choose from the full range of action options).

One of the things that's nice about this type of play is that even when it's another person's turn each other person will probably have a chance to take action... so there's not a lot of boring down time. There's not 15 agonizingly difficult strategy components to wrangle before choosing, either.

While I didn't instantly buy this game new, if I saw it used, and it was 20% off day, I'd probably go ahead and pick one up. So, that is to say, it didn't thrill me, but it was a solidly play-able game, and I look forward to playing it again.

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Seven Wonders is another game I'd heard about often. I was surprised to learn that it was a card game, albeit played with individual control panels.

The game consists of 3 rounds. In each, every player is dealt cards (the # of players +1). Each chooses a card, plays it above or below their control panel, then passes the remainder to their neighbor. The very last card is tossed in the middle. Repeat that sequence twice and that's a complete game.

Frankly, the only part of the game that I understood or that particularly sparked my interest was when I saw how the scoring pad worked. Each of 7 categories gets its own score, and then those are totaled. While I see the game dynamics offer an enormous variety of experiences each individual game, I was still at a loss about what was going on the vast majority of the game.

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Filthy Rich is the game I had purchase for about $40, many years ago. I had thought a "3D game of capitalism" would involve, you know, 3Dness (like Mouse Trap where you build the trap) but in actuality it's a game where you put cards into vinyl pouches inside a notebook. It was such a loser game that I just gave it to the game store, whose best offer for credit was $2 after a few day's wait (to count pieces, which they were too busy to do during the peak weekend hours).

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Euro card & board game socials have been a magnificent addition to my repertoire of fun. I enjoy the games, but also the company. Perhaps it's been primarily luck, but the lack of Drama Triangle moves & reactivity are like a breath of fresh air. No one is trying to get anything from me (quite a contrast to many relationship-oriented groups), nor are they trying to convert me to the cause (which isn't really the case in 12 Step or Toastmasters). The lighthearted environment is in marked contrast to the copious varieties of more serious pursuits I've historically chosen. It appears that, finally, I've found a way to have social fun that isn't either work or addiction in disguise.

Giselle, by OBT

Generations of ballet lovers agree–Giselle is a masterwork. A sweeping tale of love, loss, forgiveness and beauty beyond death, Giselle features some of the most difficult and exquisite choreography ever created for the stage. Romantic era ballet expert Lola de Avila will be creating a world premiere staging of this beloved masterpiece, featuring lush scenery from the Teatro del Maggio Musicale Fiorentino in Florence, Italy and the full OBT Orchestra. Don’t miss this ballet experience of a lifetime! Feb 25 - Mar 3, Oregon Ballet Theater, SW 3rd & Clay, $18 +

Click HERE to see videos & study guide.
(Link will expire once next season is posted.)

New Yorker Cartoons

--The New Yorker
Nov 7, 2011, pgs 37 & 70.

A Lesson Before Dying, by Romulus Linney

“When a black child is promising, like you were, like I was, we get put through school. Why? Not just to read books. To teach what that old lady really wants taught. And what is that? To be able, someday, to stand up to the white man. “

Based on the 1993 novel by Ernest J. Gaines, this play by Romulus Linney is set in 1948 in the small Louisiana bayou town of Bayonne. A young black man has been wrongly accused and convicted of murder and awaits his death in the parish courthouse. His godmother has made it her mission that he die with the dignity of an innocent man, and she enlists the unwilling aid of the town’s young black teacher to carry this out. With the convicted man’s life compared to that as no better than a hog, questions of racism and morality are confronted in visits between the two men. The lessons shared and learned transform them both – along with the entire town. Feb 29 - Mar 25, Profile Theater, 3430 SE Belmont, $16-30.

--WARNING: SPOILERS--

This play demonstrates the the universal necessity of dignity & respect. It was, in places, a difficult play to watch and yet it was, in part, that very difficulty that made it such an important and impact-full work. It has been a long time since I gave a standing ovation to a play.

I can't recommend this play without mentioning a caveat about intensity. Towards the end the video screens (don't show an electrocution, but instead) played a montage of old photographs of presumably real electric chairs/ KKKs/ etc during a soundtrack of arc-ing electricity. There was never any human sounds mixed in, but the soundtrack does get louder in a way designed to disquiet the audience.

At play's close the victim speaks his final words in front of a prop electric chair.

I personally found those 3 things a bit intense. I closed my eyes about 1/3 through the photos, but couldn't block out the sound when it got louder. Fortunately, I was seated just next to the portion of the stage where the man & his chair were unveiled from behind a black curtain, and thus with a slight adjustment of my head was able to see primarily him, without prop. Shortly after, though, I looked away. I've never been thick-skinned about people putting others to death.

Returning now to the broader message of the play, it seems to me that this is the very type of play our society needs more of. The fact that my culture chooses otherwise seems to me both symptom & cause of its own misery: a lack of understanding of the universal importance of respect, dignity, and character.

We didn't need, or mean, to toss out the "baby" of core values which bring meaning, pleasure, order, direction & satisfaction in life when we tossed out the "bathwater" of religious dominance & persecution.

The 12 Components of Courtship, by Patrick Carnes

What does the term "courtship" mean to you? If you are like most people, it's defind as meeting, getting to know, and attempting to gain the affection or love of another person. We would like to suggest that there is a far broader meaning to this term -- one that encompasses the process by which we meet & establish all our relationships. In a sense, we "court" our acquaintances, business colleagues, and friends, as well as those with whom we have romantic & intimate relationships. Not all aspects of courtship apply to every relationship, but the basic courtship- process is really about creating & building relationships.

We are discussing courtship ... because we believe that it is one of the most important aspects of being human.

THE TWELVE COMPONENTS OF COURTSHIP

1. NOTICING
This is the ability to notice attractive traits in others. With an existing partner, this means staying conscious of the desirable traits in that partner. This dimension also requires the capacity to filter out traits that, while desirable, are not a good match for you. This includes the ability to be discriminating.

2. ATTRACTION
This is the ability to feel attraction toward others and to imagine acting on those feelings. This dimension assumes a functional arousal template in which you select behavior & persons appropriate for you. Attraction involves curiosity as well as desire about the physical, emotional & intellectual traits of others. In an existing relationship, it means the ability to maintain an openness to change. In quality relationships, the partners continue to "discover" each other. Attraction is passion's starting point & the basis for relationships that endure.

3. FLIRTATION
This is the ability to make playfully romantic or sexual overtures to another person. Everyone needs to know how to flirt. Successful flirting uses playfulness, seductiveness, and social cues to send signals of interest and attraction to the desirable person. This ability also includes noticing and accurately reading the flirtation of others. The critical factor in flirtation is knowing when it is appropriate to send & receive it. in addition, the success of long-term relationship requires ongoing flirtation between partners.

4. DEMONSTRATION
Sometimes inaccurately described as "showing off," it is in this step where one demonstrates "prowess" (a physical trait, skill or capability). Sexually, it's the classic "I will show you mine if you show me yours" scenario. The is, in fact, pleasure or eroticism in having a potential partner show interest in you sexually.

In courtship, we must be able to verify demonstration. This stage is, by definition, a way to demonstrate that what you say is true, that you are who you say you are. It's really the first test of one's honesty & integrity. [W]e have information, feelings & intuition on which to base this judgment.

5. ROMANCE
This is the ability to experience, express, and receive passion. Romance assumes the ability to be aware of feelings of attraction, vulnerability, and risk. More important, a lover must be able to express them & have sufficient self-worth to accept the expressions of care from a lover as true. Included in romance is the ability to test the reality of our feelings. Are the people we select as romantic partners consistently appropriate or inappropriate choices? Is what we perceive in the other person accurate, or is it instead a projection of what we want to be true? Romance may cause us to see others as we want them to be, not what they are.

6. INDIVIDUATION
This is defined as the process by which we differentiate ourselves from others. In the midst of courtship & romance, healthy people are able to be true to themselves. They feel no fear of disapproval or control by the other person. They tell the truth and do not feel intimidated. They can ask for their needs to be met & they do not have to defer to the other person. They trust & believe that people care for them as they are.

Successful individuation depends on the first 5 steps for its foundation. Individuation depends on truth, trust, and full disclosure.

7. INTIMACY
As the exhilaration of early passion subsides, partners enter the "attachment" phase, during which the relationship deepens in its meaning and integrity. Intimacy creates a level of profound vulnerability that is ongoing and more difficult than the exhilaration of discovery during early romance. This is the "being known fully & staying anyway" part of relationships.

Intimacy takes work, time, and physical connection & interaction.

8. TOUCHING
Physical touch requires trust, care & judgment. It is important and should not be taken lightly. Touching affirms the other person, but is respectful of timing, situation, and boundaries. Touching without permission or sexualizing touch betrays trust. While touch can be seductive & misleading, it can also be extraordinarily healing. Adults who were not touched or who were neglected as children often feel extremely touch deprived. They will sacrifice their judgment & their needs simply to be touched.

We want to reemphasize that touch is essential in all relationships, not just romantic or sexual ones. So much can be communicated by such simple gestures as a pat on the back, a hug, the brush of a hand, or a quick, passing kiss. It's OK to say, "I care about you," "I'm here for you," "I'm thinking about you," and "You matter to me."

9. FOREPLAY
Sometimes referred to as the most important part of sexual contact, foreplay is the expression of sexual passion without genital intercourse. Holding, fondling, talking, kissing, and sexual play build sexual tension and are erotic & pleasurable. As a stage, foreplay includes the verbal expression of passion & meaning. In repeated surveys, most people say it is the best part of sex.

True foreplay must also include other courtship steps such as demonstration, flirtation & intimacy.

10. INTERCOURSE
Much more than the mere exchange of body fluids, this is the ability to surrender yourself to passion, letting go and trusting yourself & your partner to be vulnerable. Intercourse, while extremely pleasurable, is also an index of the degree to which one is able to give up control. To give oneself over to passion requires true abandonment of expectations. many people limit themselves or fail in orgasm simply becasue of trust and control issues.

11. COMMITMENT
Commitment is the ability to bond or attach to another. Some describe addiction as the failure to bond or of not having the capacity to form a deep, meaningful relationship. If someone matters enough, you honor that relationship by your fidelity to it. Being bonded in meaningful relationships, including nonsexual ones, is true commitment.

People who grew up in families where they learned that they couldn't count on others are continually searching for something that they can count on -- what many addicts refer to as the "black hole" they are trying to fill. Alcohol, sex, drugs, and high risks always deliver what they promise, albeit briefly and ultimately destructively. This pathological relationship with a mood-altering behavior or drug, however, will not fill the void created by the lack of committed relationships.

12. RENEWAL
The capacity must exist to sustain renewal, as well as the above dimensions in an existing relationship.

Being in a committed relationship does not mean you stop flirting or expression passion with your partner. There is a difference between being attached to someone out of habit and being devoted because of the meaning that has evolved in your journey together. Successful couples continue courtship, continue to show the other they are valued, continue to make effort to attract their mate, and continue to express the caring they have for one another. If a relationship is not working, partners take responsibility to change it. If the relationship is not tenable, they leave.

--In the Shadows of the Net
Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior,
by Patrick Carnes, David Delmonico, Elizabeth Griffin, Joseph Moriarity

Othello: what I would change

Feb 17 - Mar 11, Twilight Repertory Theater, 2110 SE 10th, $5 - 15.

I think it's time for me to take a break from this oft produced play. While in the audience, I construed this list:

Changes I'd like to make in Othello

1. Cassio decline to drink more.
2. Othello bring the question of Desdemona's in/fidelity to Desdemona at 1st or 2nd doubt.
3. Desdemona announce to Othello the despair she feels at the misplacing of her hankerchief, and that the last time she saw it was when she tried to use it to make a compress to treat Othello's headache.
4. Desdemona agree to speak up for Cassio once or twice, but not more: it's triangulation for her to decide to press his suit every time she speaks to Othello, but also, she's a young, rich, society girl. Is it realistic that she is QUALIFIED to co-manage military affairs with her General husband?
5. That Cassio approach Othello the morning after, admit fault, and request again a means through which he can repent/ redeem his military careeer.
6. Emilia use her worldly wisdom to see the nature of her husband more quickly, leading her to choose NOT to betray Desdemona (stealing the handkerchief & denying she knew its location afterwords) in exchange for the unfulfilled possibility of a kind word from Iago, her husband.
7. Othello listen to Cassio's speech while he laughs & waves around the handkerchief. Then, come out of hiding and ask Cassio directly, "Where did you get that? What is its meaning to you?" If Cassio told the truth, bring in Desdemona who can say, "I'm so glad you found it," and if a back-up to her story is needed, bring in Emilia who can say, "I guiltily confess I gave it to Iago... why'd he put it in Cassio's chamber?"
   
8. Othello wonder that Iago would allow his platonic bedmate to do so much... imagine being kissed hard, having your hand wrung, having a leg crossed over your thigh... all that and never waking up/ stopping him from proceeding? It defies imagination.
9. That Othello's "love" of Desdemona led him to feel sadness & loss at the idea of being betrayed, rather than to megalomaniac-ly converting into The Hand Of God whose job it was to punish her for it, supposing himself The Only One whom God could possibly allow to physically possess her.

Roderigo, and Iago... I don't mind that they do what they do. It's the others whose responses I so wish to alter.